I happen to earn my mundane livelihood and a deep sense of purpose, glistened by that divine bliss to be able to reach another human mind while my mind is eternally imprisoned by the rather tiny width of my physical body. People call it “teaching”; in my dictionary it is a desperate and largely futile, almost sisyphus-like effort to reconnect to that bigger me – the superset of all “me”s – present and future and past.
However, unfortunately, in my country obedience is considered a good trait and self-expression is frowned upon. Here kissing between two consenting adults in public is a lynch-worthy “social crime” while pissing openly is manly and normal! Here oppressed is shamed and oppressors are justified. So, they call me “Sir”! I squirm in any hint of position of superiority or power in the hierarchal ladder. So this address makes me extremely uncomfortable, which when expressed, they say “out of respect!”. Well, I think respect is anything but loud! Following two paragraphs are salvaged from an email that I wrote explaining my point. I think this slavish and sheepish lack of strength is a direct consequence of this “Respected Sir”! Please feel free to read-counter-argue or, better: kill me by shoe-pelting!
Respect is earned and it is a feeling on the part of a person who cannot but respect another person for some good qualities. It is also a two-way street. It cannot be demanded and cannot be associated to anything that is purely accidental, such as our time of birth, ratio of black and grey hairs or even the total reflective surface area for a mid-day sun on a day of equinox. It is a gentle warm feeling that always lingers in the heart of others for a person who, through work, became respectable.
Reverence, on the other hand, is fear and insecurity wrapped in the veil of societal norms. It is not natural, not earned and forced by people who are insecure about their own worth as provider of joy, peace and hope in the societal structure. This is what spawns “Respected Sir” and appreciation for “obedience” and not for “helpful to community”. During the colonial times, we got more people who did show anti-colonial mindset and therefore, I am inclined to believe that it is our weakness and fear of isolation due to possible nonconformity to the herd. I sometimes feel that life is the bowler in cricket. I am the batsman and there is no umpires to call foul for some illegal delivery! I cannot ask the bowler for any specific delivery that will be easier for me to play because I am well-prepared for. It will do whatever ball it wants. My job is to deal with it, no matter what. At the end of my innings my biographers may analyse how or whether I was good enough. Before that, I am going to enjoy!
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