Autumn leaves

A personal account

  • The virtuous man

    Some believe some are like that. That way good, turn around and that’s bad. Why? Because we have to have labells! As if we are manufactured goods, labelled, Tested Ok and kept in a well documented isle of a shopping mall – ready to be used as the instruction of use intends. But I am…

  • The greatest suffering

    Well, let’s believe that we are on the higher rungs of Maslow’s pyramid. What could be the greatest suffering? I think It’s suffering the fools. The problem with fools is not only they will not understand you, they will confidently misunderstand you. It’s painful but the affairs of the world compells you to rub shoulders…

  • Warmth delineated

    It is tiring to speak with passion to find all your efforts going to astray. It is taugh not to yell at insensitive imbeciles, day in and day out. Yet, every morning something from within the tired me whisper: “please, try one more time with greater care and more warmth. Who knows, that may bring…

  • A case against solemnity

    “The longer I have lived, the more I have come to suspect solemnity and to see in it – not always, but frequently – a cloak for a humbug. What is more lacking in the modern world is genial, good-natured tolerance; and what is most hostile to this is a harsh and dogmatic morality which…

  • Goodbye, memories

    The monsoon is showing its mights from morning. A day like this is not for work, really. These are the days of past that is present eternally in our minds. These are the days where our childhood crowds our senses, and always will be. From here we look back with loving longings and fragile wishes…

  • Another paradox

    “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” – Bertrand Russell 

  • The problem of “helping”…

    I find most of the time, many good people fall into a trap. It is the ego of helping people. Well, I do fall for it! I did. Many of us hide our own inability to trust and being resilient by a veneer of “not being a burden”. It’s a false sense of comfort when…

  • Drag on!

    Somedays you see spring bringing new leaves, the next you are left to die in a desert of infinite spread – desolate and alone. Why has no answer and when is forbidden. How is impossible even. May be a drop of water and then the curtain call would be too poetic a justice. So drag…

  • An innocent inside an inferno

    Sometimes it feels like the fire from the hell is ready to gobble me. Yet, something inside me cannot take that ghastly sight very seriously, you know. Isn’t it a beautiful sight to see the fire burning down what is old, what is dead, what has run its course and begging for a new form?…

  • Under the veneer …

    Recently I figured out quite a few of my worst qualities stem from being frightened of loosing control. Behind this veneer of courage and toughness larks a timid and frightened little boy. Yes, a bit embarrassing – but who the hell am I to be so flawless, virtuous character? Under the veneer, also lark wishes…

  • “They are not telling you …”

    Nowadays, in social media there is a new genre of video title cropping up … “They are not telling you …”. Yes, clickbait – but why? Why there is a sense of public paranoia? Why is this sense of being fooled? Why is this fear of being duped? I have a relative who is notorious…

  • In the dead of the night

    Sometimes I feel I am suspended in emptiness. Yes, through every interaction with loved ones, through every emotive gesture that put minds in motion – what I feel is an empty hum of nothingness. Sometimes it is painful, sometimes not even that. Does an ocean feel? The violent sea storm is as real as the…

  • Hope for a hope

    At times, your existence is the cross you are condemned to bear. Sure you can scream in agony but no help is there nearby enough to pick you up. So, my friend, scream, cry and curse a little. Then dust yourself up, find a dead rock and pull yourself up. And yes, alone, for it…

  • Grateful or Great Fool?

    Do they feel different? No. Are they different? Yes. Well, grateful people carries a lighter heart when its time to leave.

  • Turn!

    I have four buddies in my home. They came when they were very small. Now they are at the cusp of their youth. They swim around most of the day, but make sure i feed them every morning enough. Else, they make such a splash! Yes, they are fish. They also make sure to add…

  • Forsaking existence for the sake of existence

    Why should I exist? Well, if I ask the question and assign a little serious value to it, isn’t it good enough reason?

  • Groan …

    The poem has withered away leaving its suits on my boneMay the flowers find me, then,and weep gentlybesides my lonely gravestone. May your claps not find me in the market of my blood and flesh may I never ever need to show my tears to you streaming down my wrinkled face. Yes, everything ends and…

  • Remnants

    The other day, I visited an old fortress complex that 250 years ago had become a site for bloodbaths. History works in a twisted way. The marks of the canonballs still haunts us with the imagined memory of people whose names only appear in the archeological records. The walls, the pillars, the cemetery are all…

  • The only road I have ever known…

    Often I am the most patient person to someone, and the most impatient to someone else, simultaneously. Everyone already knows what I am thinking, and hence nobody asks me. Question is, what can I do but to feel completely insignificant and invisible? Yes, I know our perceptions of others are often our own shadow. But…

  • Here is to the crazy ones …

    I have recently got a bunch of “well-wishers”. They keep telling me what not to do when nobody else is doing, how not to feel about outrageous things, why should I rather stay at the ivory pedestal, how not to have life and how to be modest and polite and how to be an Ideal…