Of course …

The moment I do not abide by your rules of lives:
the rules to cater you and your egos,
how dare am I to exist?
Of course, how dare am I?

Of course, if something is left on plate
I may get a bite or two.
“Isn’t that enough? “ – you ask.
“Of course it has to be enough” – you assert
and, the deafening claps drown
my last whispering gasps for breaths.

Of course, I do not need any more.
How dare even I ask for them?
But, of course you my friend,
need from me –
I owe the exact things
– of course,
that I have been shamed to seek.

Of course, you do not owe me anything.
Of course, I owe you my last breaths.

Of course, I know my statue will probably sell
well after my existence,
an existence made worse than hell
by all of you who will sell.

My skin when could sweat
wanted to touch the world,
to be admonished solemnly that
I am unwanted
– a dozen a dime
– unless I follow their rules –
. Of course.
My meat, blood, bones
that, when alive genuinely loved them
to be kicked away in no time,
will force those same people
to buy thicker wallets –
made of my, now expensive, “leather”.

Of course, I misunderstand
how much you love me
and how did you sacrifice by “feeling concerned”
and
it is my “oversensitivity” and “idealism”
that are the problems.
Of course,
you have no responsibility to
make me believe that I am cared for
Why the hell didn’t I understand their
understated nonexistent adoration –
like that naked king’s attire!
How cheap am I to even expect?
Of course, they are not my such-an-such,
and it is not their “job”.
Of course.

Of course it is your trauma from others
others whom you chose without me in your mind,
makes you not to be able
to give a piece of land to lie down.
when I needed a pillow
– tired and thirsty of just a gulp of life.

Of course, I am a greedy man to say that
I also need what they need –
and my needs matter too.
Of course.

Of course,
I will be on the sides of error,
an angry, unstable, unfeeling man
for,
you, my friends, are majority,
until, of course,
my dried corpse can be sold
an ounce a pearl.
my bones can fertilize
your crops
my bleeding cadaver
can earn someone a doctorate degree to flaunt!

Of course.